The focus here is on adult-dating, hooking up online with HookUP.com. But we’re happy to offer you dating advice for the real world, where girls live. So if you feel like you might like to step away from the chat rooms, profiles, and online personals, and go out looking for the elusive hook-up in its natural habitat, we’re still your man. Today, we’re going to work on your pick-up lines. Because they’re weak. Probably.
For a pick-up line to be effective, ideally, it should be unrecognized. Subtlety is key. It’s like the opening sentences of a novel: it has to be an introduction that is charming, establishes some basic information, and is compelling enough that the person hearing it wants to hear and know more, without being aware that it is a pick-up line, with all that a pick-up line implies, such as premeditation, rehearsal, and Google searching. You don’t want to come across as a pick-up artist until you’re a damn good one.
Of course, pick-up lines can also work if they are obvious enough to be identified as pick-up lines, and are either outrageous enough to be ironically funny, or charming enough to be endearing. Using these kinds of pick-up lines effectively requires an even greater mastery of subtlety and finesse than using unrecognized pick-up lines. Following are a handful of our favorite obvious pick-up lines. Note that excluded from this list entirely are the overwrought, ubiquitous formula pick-up lines: condition blank, result blank. Like Are you a new blog entry, ‘cause you’re about to get Posted. None of that.
On that note, let’s get the bad out of the way. The condition blank, result blank lines are obvious, unfunny, and lazy. But it gets worse than that. We used to go to clubs with a friend named Jeff. Jeff would go up to every hot girl in the place and say:
I’d like to take you home and bounce you off of every wall in my house
Jeff would say that nineteen times, get slapped eighteen times, and go home with a hot girl. But that was Jeff. He had the balls of an elephant. And a lifetime ban from the city zoo.
Another loser line that we’ve actually seen work is:
I’d like to fuck your brains out, but it looks like someone beat me to it
No, this one wasn’t Jeff again. And god bless the poor waitress that thought it was funny. Even though it was true. Don’t try this at home.
The best lines, subtle or obvious, are open-ended, not closed-ended. That means that “Yes,” and (especially) “No” are not likely or even possible responses because of the way the line is phrased. But these can still be effective pick-up lines, especially when they are classic and subtle enough not to be identified as pick-up lines were it not for their frequent use over the years, and their practicality. Some examples:
Can I buy you a drink? and Is this seat taken? and Do you come here often?
Everyone knows these are lines, but they are acceptable introductions to an appropriate conversation. (If they say “No” to “Do You Come Here Often,” you can always assure them that you know a place where they can come often.)
Of course, the rule about closed-ended questions can be manipulated to reveal a unique nature and a clever mind, as in this example:
If I asked you out, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
That one will puzzle her, or him, and will break the ice instantly. Pick-up lines that break the ice are great. Unless you’re out skating.
Another advantage to a good pick-up line is that it anticipates a response, and its clincher is in the counter-response. Take this one, for example:
You remind me of my first wife/husband
The natural response is for the lady or gentleman to reply “How many times have you been married,” the answer to which is “None.” You can of course adjust the number, bless your heart.
Everyone knows some humorous pick-up lines, so we won’t go into too much detail. One we like that stays under the radar is
I’m getting married soon, unless you’re busy
It can be risky to be very direct, but it’s worth a try. One that says it all with no subterfuge and is easily identifiable as a line is:
Are you busy tonight at last call?
Compliments and charm are never a bad play. These classics are always a good place to start:
That dress/garment/accessory looks lovely on you
I can’t stop looking at you
Complimenting a woman or man’s appearance is always going to get attention, but complimenting his or her choices goes even deeper. And so will you.
Conversation starters are along the same lines. Ask his or her opinion, ask about them, and their lives. Get the chat going. These classics are classics for a reason:
Do you find this place… and Tell me something about yourself
I would like to talk with you about anything
Ideally, you will use the principles explained here to develop your own lines, that represent you and who you are, and start conversations. Maybe you’ll come up with one as good as the only nearly perfect pick-up line on this list, a favorite of ours, in which you simply extend your hand and say:
Will you hold this while I go for a walk?