39 – oral anal sex, salad tossing
AA – African American
ACDC – Bi-sexual
Aftercare – Time after play spent cuddling or winding down together
Ageplay – Role play that involves people being or performing as two different ages. The most classic example is teacher/student role play, but this can include adult babies, littles, and other situations.
Analingus – Oral anal sex
Aromas – Poppers
Ass play – Any play involving the ass, including analingus, fisting, anal sex, and more
Arts – Fetishes
Auto-masochism– A masochist hurting themselves
Ball gag – An object in the mouth (usually a rubber ball or small rubber penis), held in the mouth with a strap that buckles
Ball weight – Attaching weights to testicles
Bareback – Refers to sex without a condom.
BBW – big beautiful woman
BDSM – A modern acronym used to refer to the kink and fetish communities and activities. It stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism
Bear – Hairy gay men
BHM – Big Handsome Man
Bisexual – Refers to a person that has sex with both male and female partners.
Body Worship – Licking and stroking every part of someone’s body
Bondage – Tying someone up or restraining them. You can use cuffs, rope, chain or other things for this. Safety is a big concern if this is something you want to try.
Boot Worship – Licking, sucking, and stroking boots in a devoted and enthusiastic way
Bottom – The person receiving sensation. If you’re being spanked, penetrated, or tied up, you’re the bottom!
Buckle Bunny – someone who likes ranchers and rodeo participants
Bukkake – Japanese term for those having multiple men ejaculate on someone’s body.
Butt plug – Insertable with a tapered shape, inserted into the anus
CBT – Acronym for “Cock and Ball Torture,”. It involves binding or torturing the male genitals. You’re into this if you like your genitals slapped, tied, or kicked.
Chastity belt – Device to secure the genitals to prevent sexual pleasure, can be for male or female
Clamps – Commonly clothespins or metal clamps used on nipples, genitals, or other skin for pleasure or pain
Consent – Saying yes to the activity. Consent is very important in BDSM dating. Negotiate before playing to make sure you have consent for the activities.
Cougar – an older woman that enjoys younger mentioned
Cross-dressing – Dressing as the opposite gender, usually for the purpose of sexual arousal
Cunnilingus – Orally stimulating the vagina
Cupping – Suction cups used on the body to elicit a response
Daddy – an often older man who enjoys younger or younger acting women
Dental Damn – A latex sheet that serves as a barrier for analingus or cunnilingus to help prevent the spread of STDs.
Devotee – someone who appreciates amputees (or some other super specific thing like that)
Dom(me) – The dominant person in an activity. A Dom (male) or Domme (female) is the person in charge or in power in BDSM activities.
Double penetration – Having two openings filled at once. Anus, vagina or mouth.
Dungeon Monitor – The person(s) in charge of safety in a public dungeon. If you and your hook up play publicly, the dungeon master is in charge of making sure everyone is playing safely. They are in charge, like a sheriff.
D/s – Dominance and submission.
Enema – Douching your butt. This is done to clean out the colon before anal play or as a fetish activity on it’s own.Exhibitionism – Arrousal gained by potential or actual exposure of sex acts or the naked body to an audience
Feeder/Feedee – people interested in feeding others food or being fed
Female ejaculation – Squirting. Ejaculation from the vagina
Feminization – A male forced to wear female clothing
Fetish – An object or action that turns you on. It might not be sexual on it’s own, but it turns you on. Examples are boots/high heels, foot fetish, leather, and rubber.
Figging – Using peeled ginger root for anal insertion.
Fisting – Fisting happens when someone uses lube to slowly work their fist into a vagina or anus. This is another thing where safety is a big concern, but instructional classes are available even online.
Flogger – Floggers are used in BDSM play. It’s a whip with multiple tails (or “falls”). They are made of leather, rubber, or other materials and are used to by a top to strike a bottom in fleshy areas like the butt.
Foot Fetish– Someone with a foot fetish will get their kicks rubbing, touching, or licking feet.
Frottage – To rub your body against another person or object to get sexually aroused.
Fucking Machine – A machine, usually AC powered, that uses mechanical parts and an attached dildo to penetrate an anus or vagina.
Full Swap – A couple who wants to switch partners with another couple
Gangbang – One person being penetrated by a group of people
Gates of Hell – Male chastity device that restricts penis using metal or rubber rings along a strip of leather.
Genitorture – Causing consensual pain to the genitals
Glory holes – A place where there are stalls with holes in the walls, the size and height appropriate for genital insertion. The person in the next stall then stimulates those genitals without seeing the person attached.
Golden Enemas – Using urine to give an enema or peeing directly into the anus
Greek – anal sexual play.
Hanky Code – A system of identifying fetishes originating in the gay leather community. A bandana of a specific color is worn on either the left or right back pocket to indicate interest in a particular fetish. Doing this is called flagging. The back left pocket is for receiving or submitting to an action, while the back right pock is for topping or giving a certain activity. A black bandana in the left pocket indicates that you’d like to bottom to heavy S&M.
Hard Limit – Something you will not do, under any circumstances. Sometimes it’s just called a limit, but it’s saying that x-thing isn’t happening.
Hitachi – Generally the Hitachi Magic Wand, a classic vibrator that plugs into a wall outlet
Lactation – A fetish for breast-milk and women who lactate
Little – A person who plays a role younger than their actual age or incorporates age regression into sexual encounters
Masochism/Masochist – Enjoying and being turned on by receiving pain. If you enjoy the pain that comes from a spanking or bondage, you are a masochist.
Ménage à trois – A threesome
Negotiation – The discussions of rules, limits, STI status, and potential activities to obtain informed consent
NSA – no strings attached
Packing – Something in a woman’s pants to simulate having a penis. Can be a sock rolled up for a bulge or a synthetic penis
Pansexual – Beyond bisexual, a pansexual person is attracted to people beyond the male/female binary.
Parachute – A parachute piece of leather or rubber attached to the testicles
Pearl necklace – Ejaculation on the neck and chest, simulating a pearl necklace
Pet Play – Pretending that someone is an animal (like a puppy or kitty). This can involve treats, pet bowls, tails, and ears. Cat girls and leather pups are pretty easy to find online if you’re curious.
Play – Doing BDSM stuff. If you go to a play party, that’s a party where people will engage in BDSM activities.
Poly (Polyamory) – The opposite of monogamy, poly people have relationships of various kinds outside of monogamous partnerships
Retifism – Shoe fetish
Rope Bunny – someone who enjoys being tied up
Rough Sex – Sex where things get rough. There might be scratching, biting, slapping, or spanking.
Sadism/Sadist – Someone who enjoys giving consensual pain (to a masochist). If you want to be the one tying people up and causing pain, you’re a sadist.
Sadomasochist – Someone who is both a sadist and a masochist
Safe call – A call or text made at a specific time during a first-meeting to confirm that the person is safe and has not been assaulted
Safeword – a pre-negotiated word that means no. The most common system mimics stoplights. Green means go. Yellow means slow down or back off on the sensation. Red means stop NOW.
Scat Play – playing with feces.
Shibari – literally, “Shibari” means “to tie” or “to bind.” It’s a kind of traditional Japanese rope bondage. Classes are available on this, and you want to pay attention to safety.
Sounding – From the medical practice. Sounding involves putting metal rods, carefully into someone’s urethra. This is another thing where you have to be safety conscious.
S/M – Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism). It refers to sadists and masochists playing together.
SSBBW – super sized big beautiful woman (women over 250 or 300lbs)
Strap-on – A dildo harness
Submissive – The one not in control during a BDSM exchange
Switch – One who switches between roles, sometimes they top, sometimes they bottom.
Sybian – A saddle-like toy with an upright vibrating dildo, controlled by remote, that is straddled and ridden.
TENS unit– Trans cutaneous Electronic Nerve Stimulation. A device that delivers electrical pulses through pads that stick on the skin. Play safely with these
Top – The person providing sensation. If you’re penetrating another person, tying them up, or causing consensual pain, you’re the top.
Transgender- A person who does not identify with their assigned gender
Triple penetration– Three openings filled at once
Wax Play – Dripping hot wax onto another person. This is a safety first situation. Use parafin only candles, test the wax temperature first, and be careful where you get it. Also consider all relevant fire safety.
Watetsports/Golden Showers – Peeing on someone or being peed on – play with urine.
BiF – Bisexual Female
BiM – Bisexual Male
BiM – Bisexual Married Female
BiMM – Bisexual Married Male
CD – Cross-dresser
CPL – Couple
DBF – Divorced Black Female
DBM – Divorced Black Male
DDF – Drug and Disease Free
DD’s – Double D Chest Size
DP – Double Penetration
D/S – Domination/Submission
DWF – Divorced White Female
DWM – Divorced White Male
F/T – Full Time
F2F – Face-to-Face
F4F – Female For Female
F4M – Female For Male
F4MF – Female For Male & Female (woman looking for a couple)
FTM – Female to Male (transgender)
GBF – Gay Black Female
GBM – Gay Black Male
GWF – Gay White Female
GWM – Gay White Male
HWP – Height/Weight Proportional
ISO – In Search Of
IRL – In Real Life
ILU – I Love You
LTR – Long Term Relationship
LFG – Looking for a group
LDS – Latter-day Saints
LDR – Long Distance Relationship
LGBT – Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender
LS – Lifestyle
M4M – Man For Men
M4W – Male For Female
MBA – Married But Available
MBF – Married Black Female
MBM – Married Black Male
MF4MF – Male & Female for Male & Female
MF4F – Male & Female for Female
MF4M – Male & Female For Male
MJF – Married Jewish Female
MJM – Married Jewish Male
MM – Married Men
MTF – Male to Female (transgender)
MWC – Married With Children
MWF – Married White Female
MWM – Married White Male
NSA – No Strings Attached
OTK – Over The Knee, usually for spanking
PA – Prince Albert piercing
PF – Professional Female
PM – Professional Male
P/T – Part time
RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink
RPG – Role Playing Games
RL – Real Life
SAF – Single Asian Female
SAM – 1. Single Asian Male – 2. Smart Assed Masochist
SALT – Single and Loving It
SBF – Single Black Female
SBM – Single Black Male
SCF – Single Christian Female
SCM – Single Christian Male
SHF – Single Hispanic Female
SHM – Single Hispanic Male
SINK – Single Income No Kids
SJF – Single Jewish Female
SJM – Single Jewish Male
SM – Sadism/Masochism (S&M)
SOH – Sense of Humor
SSC – Safe Sane Consensual
STD/STI – Sexually Transmitted Disease/Sexually Transmitted Infection
Sub – Submissive
SWF – Single White Female
SWM – Single White Male
SO – Significant Other
SWAK – Sealed With A Kiss
TG – Transgender
VDP – Vaginal Double Penetration (two penises inside one vagina)
W4M – Women For Men
W4W – Women For Women
W/E – Well-endowed
WLTM – Would Like To Meet