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HookUP Terms:

39 – oral anal sex, salad tossing

AA – African American

ACDC – Bi-sexual

Aftercare – Time after play spent cuddling or winding down together

Ageplay – Role play that involves people being or performing as two different ages. The most classic example is teacher/student role play, but this can include adult babies, littles, and other situations.

Analingus – Oral anal sex

Aromas – Poppers

Ass play – Any play involving the ass, including analingus, fisting, anal sex, and more

Arts – Fetishes

Auto-masochism– A masochist hurting themselves

Ball gag – An object in the mouth (usually a rubber ball or small rubber penis), held in the mouth with a strap that buckles

Ball weight – Attaching weights to testicles

Bareback – Refers to sex without a condom.

BBW – big beautiful woman

BDSM – A modern acronym used to refer to the kink and fetish communities and activities. It stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadism, and Masochism

Bear – Hairy gay men

BHM – Big Handsome Man

Bisexual – Refers to a person that has sex with both male and female partners.

Body Worship – Licking and stroking every part of someone’s body

Bondage – Tying someone up or restraining them. You can use cuffs, rope, chain or other things for this. Safety is a big concern if this is something you want to try.

Boot Worship – Licking, sucking, and stroking boots in a devoted and enthusiastic way

Bottom – The person receiving sensation. If you’re being spanked, penetrated, or tied up, you’re the bottom!

Buckle Bunny – someone who likes ranchers and rodeo participants

Bukkake – Japanese term for those having multiple men ejaculate on someone’s body.

Butt plug – Insertable with a tapered shape, inserted into the anus

CBT – Acronym for “Cock and Ball Torture,”. It involves binding or torturing the male genitals. You’re into this if you like your genitals slapped, tied, or kicked.

Chastity belt – Device to secure the genitals to prevent sexual pleasure, can be for male or female

Clamps – Commonly clothespins or metal clamps used on nipples, genitals, or other skin for pleasure or pain

Consent – Saying yes to the activity. Consent is very important in BDSM dating. Negotiate before playing to make sure you have consent for the activities.

Cougar – an older woman that enjoys younger mentioned

Cross-dressing – Dressing as the opposite gender, usually for the purpose of sexual arousal

Cunnilingus – Orally stimulating the vagina

Cupping – Suction cups used on the body to elicit a response

Daddy – an often older man who enjoys younger or younger acting women

Dental Damn – A latex sheet that serves as a barrier for analingus or cunnilingus to help prevent the spread of STDs.

Devotee – someone who appreciates amputees (or some other super specific thing like that)

Dom(me) – The dominant person in an activity. A Dom (male) or Domme (female) is the person in charge or in power in BDSM activities.

Double penetration – Having two openings filled at once. Anus, vagina or mouth.

Dungeon Monitor – The person(s) in charge of safety in a public dungeon. If you and your hook up play publicly, the dungeon master is in charge of making sure everyone is playing safely. They are in charge, like a sheriff.

D/s – Dominance and submission.

Enema – Douching your butt. This is done to clean out the colon before anal play or as a fetish activity on it’s own.Exhibitionism – Arrousal gained by potential or actual exposure of sex acts or the naked body to an audience

Feeder/Feedee – people interested in feeding others food or being fed

Female ejaculation – Squirting. Ejaculation from the vagina

Feminization – A male forced to wear female clothing

Fetish – An object or action that turns you on. It might not be sexual on it’s own, but it turns you on. Examples are boots/high heels, foot fetish, leather, and rubber.

Figging – Using peeled ginger root for anal insertion.

Fisting – Fisting happens when someone uses lube to slowly work their fist into a vagina or anus. This is another thing where safety is a big concern, but instructional classes are available even online.

Flogger – Floggers are used in BDSM play. It’s a whip with multiple tails (or “falls”). They are made of leather, rubber, or other materials and are used to by a top to strike a bottom in fleshy areas like the butt.

Foot Fetish– Someone with a foot fetish will get their kicks rubbing, touching, or licking feet.

Frottage – To rub your body against another person or object to get sexually aroused.

Fucking Machine – A machine, usually AC powered, that uses mechanical parts and an attached dildo to penetrate an anus or vagina.

Full Swap – A couple who wants to switch partners with another couple

Gangbang – One person being penetrated by a group of people

Gates of Hell – Male chastity device that restricts penis using metal or rubber rings along a strip of leather.

Genitorture – Causing consensual pain to the genitals

Glory holes – A place where there are stalls with holes in the walls, the size and height appropriate for genital insertion. The person in the next stall then stimulates those genitals without seeing the person attached.

Golden Enemas – Using urine to give an enema or peeing directly into the anus

Greek – anal sexual play.

Hanky Code – A system of identifying fetishes originating in the gay leather community. A bandana of a specific color is worn on either the left or right back pocket to indicate interest in a particular fetish. Doing this is called flagging. The back left pocket is for receiving or submitting to an action, while the back right pock is for topping or giving a certain activity. A black bandana in the left pocket indicates that you’d like to bottom to heavy S&M.

Hard Limit – Something you will not do, under any circumstances. Sometimes it’s just called a limit, but it’s saying that x-thing isn’t happening.

Hitachi – Generally the Hitachi Magic Wand, a classic vibrator that plugs into a wall outlet

Informed consent – consent given with full knowledge of all related situations and without emotional influence or influence of alcohol or drugs

Lactation – A fetish for breast-milk and women who lactate

Little – A person who plays a role younger than their actual age or incorporates age regression into sexual encounters

Masochism/Masochist – Enjoying and being turned on by receiving pain. If you enjoy the pain that comes from a spanking or bondage, you are a masochist.

Ménage à trois – A threesome

Negotiation – The discussions of rules, limits, STI status, and potential activities to obtain informed consent

NSA – no strings attached

Objectification – Using someone as an object (sex doll, footstool, etc)

Packing – Something in a woman’s pants to simulate having a penis. Can be a sock rolled up for a bulge or a synthetic penis

Pansexual – Beyond bisexual, a pansexual person is attracted to people beyond the male/female binary.

Parachute – A parachute piece of leather or rubber attached to the testicles

Pearl necklace – Ejaculation on the neck and chest, simulating a pearl necklace

Pet Play – Pretending that someone is an animal (like a puppy or kitty). This can involve treats, pet bowls, tails, and ears. Cat girls and leather pups are pretty easy to find online if you’re curious.

Play – Doing BDSM stuff. If you go to a play party, that’s a party where people will engage in BDSM activities.

Poly (Polyamory) – The opposite of monogamy, poly people have relationships of various kinds outside of monogamous partnerships

Queening – Face sitting either traditionally or through the use of a special stool with a hole in the seat

Retifism – Shoe fetish

Rope Bunny – someone who enjoys being tied up

Rough Sex – Sex where things get rough. There might be scratching, biting, slapping, or spanking.

Sadism/Sadist – Someone who enjoys giving consensual pain (to a masochist). If you want to be the one tying people up and causing pain, you’re a sadist.

Sadomasochist – Someone who is both a sadist and a masochist

Safe call – A call or text made at a specific time during a first-meeting to confirm that the person is safe and has not been assaulted

Safeword – a pre-negotiated word that means no. The most common system mimics stoplights. Green means go. Yellow means slow down or back off on the sensation. Red means stop NOW.

Scat Play – playing with feces.

Shibari – literally, “Shibari” means “to tie” or “to bind.” It’s a kind of traditional Japanese rope bondage. Classes are available on this, and you want to pay attention to safety.

Sounding – From the medical practice. Sounding involves putting metal rods, carefully into someone’s urethra. This is another thing where you have to be safety conscious.

S/M – Sadism and masochism (or sadomasochism). It refers to sadists and masochists playing together.

SSBBW – super sized big beautiful woman (women over 250 or 300lbs)

Strap-on – A dildo harness

Submissive – The one not in control during a BDSM exchange

Switch – One who switches between roles, sometimes they top, sometimes they bottom.

Sybian – A saddle-like toy with an upright vibrating dildo, controlled by remote, that is straddled and ridden.

TENS unit– Trans cutaneous Electronic Nerve Stimulation. A device that delivers electrical pulses through pads that stick on the skin. Play safely with these

Top – The person providing sensation. If you’re penetrating another person, tying them up, or causing consensual pain, you’re the top.

Transgender- A person who does not identify with their assigned gender

Triple penetration– Three openings filled at once

Unicorn – a single, bisexual female that joins couples
Vanilla – Vanilla people are not into kink. Vanilla situations are not kinky.

Wax Play – Dripping hot wax onto another person. This is a safety first situation. Use parafin only candles, test the wax temperature first, and be careful where you get it. Also consider all relevant fire safety.

Watetsports/Golden Showers – Peeing on someone or being peed on – play with urine.

Zipper – clothespins or clamps along a string, attached to the body. Can be removed all at once by pulling the string quickly or slowly by soft pulls

HookUP Acronyms:

BiF – Bisexual Female

BiM – Bisexual Male

BiM – Bisexual Married Female

BiMM – Bisexual Married Male

CD – Cross-dresser

CPL – Couple

DBF – Divorced Black Female

DBM – Divorced Black Male

DDF – Drug and Disease Free

DD’s – Double D Chest Size

DP – Double Penetration

D/S – Domination/Submission

DWF – Divorced White Female

DWM – Divorced White Male

F/T – Full Time

F2F – Face-to-Face

F4F – Female For Female

F4M – Female For Male

F4MF – Female For Male & Female (woman looking for a couple)

FTM – Female to Male (transgender)

GBF – Gay Black Female

GBM – Gay Black Male

GWF – Gay White Female

GWM – Gay White Male

HWP – Height/Weight Proportional

ISO – In Search Of

IRL – In Real Life

ILU – I Love You

LTR – Long Term Relationship

LFG – Looking for a group

LDS – Latter-day Saints

LDR – Long Distance Relationship

LGBT – Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender

LS – Lifestyle

M4M – Man For Men

M4W – Male For Female

MBA – Married But Available

MBF – Married Black Female

MBM – Married Black Male

MF4MF – Male & Female for Male & Female

MF4F – Male & Female for Female

MF4M – Male & Female For Male

MJF – Married Jewish Female

MJM – Married Jewish Male

MM – Married Men

MTF – Male to Female (transgender)

MWC – Married With Children

MWF – Married White Female

MWM – Married White Male

NSA – No Strings Attached

OTK – Over The Knee, usually for spanking

PA – Prince Albert piercing

PF – Professional Female

PM – Professional Male

P/T – Part time

RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink

RPG – Role Playing Games

RL – Real Life

SAF – Single Asian Female

SAM – 1. Single Asian Male – 2. Smart Assed Masochist

SALT – Single and Loving It

SBF – Single Black Female

SBM – Single Black Male

SCF – Single Christian Female

SCM – Single Christian Male

SHF – Single Hispanic Female

SHM – Single Hispanic Male

SINK – Single Income No Kids

SJF – Single Jewish Female

SJM – Single Jewish Male

SM – Sadism/Masochism (S&M)

SOH – Sense of Humor

SSC – Safe Sane Consensual

STD/STI – Sexually Transmitted Disease/Sexually Transmitted Infection

Sub – Submissive

SWF – Single White Female

SWM – Single White Male

SO – Significant Other

SWAK – Sealed With A Kiss

TG – Transgender

VDP – Vaginal Double Penetration (two penises inside one vagina)

W4M – Women For Men

W4W – Women For Women

W/E – Well-endowed

WLTM – Would Like To Meet

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