There’s a great phrase, “I don’t have fantasies, I have action plans.”
Fantasies are as varied as the people having them, and we all have them. Fantasies spell out our desires, and they’re shaped around how we want to feel. For all the taboo things you might feel about these desires, they’re an open secret. Fantasies are in every action movie, romance novel, and seedy, nasty porn movie. The characters are all the same – the dashing stranger, the dominant woman, the naive girl, the teacher and student relationships.
What you do with your fantasies is the difference between whether they’ll remain masturbation fodder forever or if you’ll boldly go live those wet dreams and see if the experience measures up to the dream, and we’re here to tell you to follow your dreams.
So where do you start? First thing’s first, you deserve to explore your fantasies, and no, you aren’t weird or strange or odd. For every puzzle piece, there’s a fit out there, and there might be more people with complimentary desires than you think.
Go to Google and type in literally any word followed by sex, go ahead, we’ll wait.
See, a million things pop up, and that’s because we’re all looking for something. We’ve all got fantasies. So what are your fantasies, and how do you find someone to play in your world?
Sit down and think about the things you really want. Expressing your needs is step 1. If you’re into bondage, butts, or dressing up like a kitty, you have to know how to say that. If your fantasy has safety consideration, consider taking a class. Public sex toy stores as well as BDSM groups often offer educational events aimed at helping you play more safely. A class on bondage will help you reach out as well!
Once you can talk about your needs, do that. Put your clear desires in your profile. Anyone reading can see them. Think of it as advertising. Once you find your partner, it’s time to negotiate. You might think of negotiating as something you do when you buy a car or ask for a raise, but it’s the term we use for discussing limits, loves, and little things your hook up needs to know. Sex dating is all about communication!
If you want to try role playing, discuss roles. What things do you want to incorporate? What things are a little too weird for you? Knowing what you won’t do is just as important is knowing what you want, and talking about it will keep your fantastic sex date from turning into a bad experience.
Negotiating also covers any safety concerns. Nothing stops a sexy good time like a latex allergy that didn’t get mentioned or a lost handcuff key! Also consider a safe word, even if you aren’t quite that kinky. That gives you and your partner a non-threatening way to say no, without stopping your good time.
With all your communication in place, you’re ready to dive right in and fulfill every decadent fantasy!